I hate it. I hate the fact that I have no self-control when I’m around you. I’ve spent the better part of my adult life learning how to control my emotions.
I revel in the fact that I can suppress my feelings and keep a poker face on at all times. When I’m around you, I lose it. The feelings I have for you since the day you were born have been intense. I see you and my heart jumps out of my chest.
When I leave for work in the morning, I go into the bedroom and give you a kiss goodbye and it feels like I’m not going to see you for weeks. When I come home, the first thing I do after giving your mom a kiss is wash my hands and immediately grab you and hold you closely. The smell of your hair, your milk breath, your baby farts, all of that, it brings a smile to my face.
Harper, I’m really trying, but I can’t. It’s been two months since you’ve been born and you have been on my mind every single second. You’ve managed to infiltrate my heart and make it yours. I have to share this heart with others, but rest assured, you’ve brought about changes in me. You’ll never have to guess how I feel about you.
As I finish this love letter to you, my daughter, I want to tell you one thing: you will never be without. You’ll never lack the physical necessities like food, shelter, and clothing, but most importantly, you will never lack love. Specifically, my love.
Happy two months Harper. I love you.