I remember the queen-sized bed as spacious, roomy, and super comfortable. I had all my pillows, she had her pillows and our comfortable blanket. Now, the overstuffed bed has become a cluster with…wait for it…a maternity pillow. How’d this happen? The mom-to-be is 30 weeks which means in just 10 weeks, I’ll be a first-time dad.
This all started when we…well, I think we all know how babies are made at this point in life. I’ll spare you the details.
However, as a 42-year old first-time father to be, how does this work? I’ve seen how it’s done; I have two brothers that are fathers and a father of my own, but to actually BE A FATHER? Is there an instruction manual that comes when the baby is born like when you buy a new TV and need the set-up info? At the hospital they tell you “Congratulations! It’s a girl! Here’s the manual that comes with your new bundle of joy. Turn to page 38 for customization instructions.” Imagine? HA!
I’m joking when I ask about an instruction manual, but there is a very real uncertainty that comes along with being a first-time father. As I embark along this journey, this is a place for me to talk it out (vent it out) with you and share my experiences. It’ll be honest, funny, tongue in cheek, but blunt accounting of what’s to come and what will be.
Speaking of that… from here on out, all dates will be punctuated by B.B. (before baby) and A.B. (after baby) because I have a feeling that in 10 weeks, life will never be the same again.
Fatherhood Confidential 
Got that last part right, Jose. There were 42 years between me and my Dad, and I turned out OK. Of course, they had 2 others before me, so they had practice. Even though you will, don’t worry. Rely on your friends and relatives for advice, but make your own decisions concerning your child. Good luck, my friend.
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I was 19 when Nina was born, a baby myself some might say. I’ll be honest, those 9 months of pregnancy, I wasn’t worried or nervous because I had my family’s support. Tell you what though, when it came time for labor, I was scared shitless. Crying like a little bitch in the hospital room. I think I went through every possible emotion at the same time sitting in that room. I don’t think there is anything that can prepare you for being a father, but as Karl said, rely on your friends and family for advise, but make your own decisions.
Good luck bro, you know how to find me when you need me. Because yeah you’ll need me! Love you bro.
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Dude, there is nothing better than fatherhood. That being said I didn’t meet my daughter until three days after her third birthday. So I joke that she was housebroken. I was 37 when she was born. Missed those first two years and tribes of memories that I can never replace. I made dame sure I wouldn’t miss anything else. Life happens! This time around I’m married and have a three week old son at 46. Am I too old for this shit? Honestly I think things happen for a reason. A daughter, a step son and a daughter later and then here comes the 2017 model. I’ve never been so happy to wake up and change a diaper so my wife has a few minutes to gather herself before she takes care of the task of feeding ‘the dude’.
So yeah, it’s time to go flip through the owners manual again to make sure I didn’t miss anything. You’re right bro, you’re life will never be the same AB…but that’s not a bad thing.
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Just remember one thing and you will get through everything ok: Share the responsibility. Whether it is changing diapers, feeding, planning play dates, doling out punishments…do it together. My son’s dad didn’t figure this out until later in life which is why he’s a great dad now, but it would have made a huge difference in my life when we were married. It’s also hard getting used to the fact that you are no longer the most important person in your woman’s life, but she’ll be dealing with the same thing. So cut each other a break. Parenting is hard, but oh so worth it.
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I wrote a long comment and never ent it…maybe it wasnt the right time or right words…but I’ll tell you this….that little girl will love you more than any other human on this Earth and you will NEVER love Anyone deeper than your first born. God has given her the manual so get ready to be assembled. she will introduce you to feelings and emotions you have never known existed…the biggest of these is fear. Just remember she will be watching you and making her own manual of the perfect man. What you do and how you treat her momma is all she will have to base her expectation of a man. So be that man that you feel she deserves. Give her the wisdom to know right from wrong and she will always make you proud. I am so excited for you…its a long crazy ride…but so amazingly beautiful. welcome to parenthood bro!
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